Ana Mourns (The Clermont Coven Trilogy Book 2) Read online

  I nibbled my bottom lip. “How come you ended up here?”

  “My dad needed a new job.” Damien shrugged. “The last school he was at wasn’t working for any of us, and when this position opened up, he jumped at it, since it meant it would be easier for my mother to get a job too. It’s been a while since she was able to find that kind of position, which was made even better by the fact that it was at Clermont Hospital. She’s only ever heard good things about the place, so she said it was on the top of her list for places to work, which made it simpler when Dad pitched this idea to all of us, as we’ve always made decisions together. He didn’t want any of us to be unhappy.”

  Of course, there was nothing about him that helped me understand why he made me so uncomfortable. Damien seemed almost entirely normal. I hadn’t really expected it to be obvious, but some kind of clue would have helped, and the longer I was around him, the less certain I was that I’d even felt the same as I had around Woods. “Clermont Hospital has always been known for its standards of medical care.” I smiled. “My mom works there too. We moved here so she could take the job.”

  Joining Alex at our normal spot on the bus, I looked at him. He looked back at me. “You’re worried.”

  Nodding, I brushed a hand through my hair. “There was nothing obvious, which was something I had expected, but…” I shook my head. “I don’t even know if the issue I’m having even makes sense.”

  “Tell me about it, and we can work things out together.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, drawing me closer to him so I could rest my head on his shoulder. Grateful for his support, I breathed in deeply.

  “There’s a reason for everything you’re feeling right now. Even if you aren’t feeling anything right now.”

  “Honestly, I’m not. Spending time with Damien…I don’t even know how to describe it. Nothing about it makes any sense. Even when he walked up to us, I was able to feel that niggling sensation of there being something wrong about him. I can’t describe it, but the longer I was around him, the less I felt it. It’s as though there’s something about being around him that makes him seem less dangerous. There has to be a reason for that. It makes me think they might not be connected to what happened before. That was a very Clermont-specific thing. This is something different entirely. Something I’ve never dealt with before.”

  “Is there anyone you can ask about this, to get a better understanding of what it is you’re dealing with?”

  “Possibly.” I thought for a moment. “Probably, actually, but I don’t know for certain that getting a better understanding is really going to help. Yes, I’m going to know why I feel the way I do. I just can’t be certain that whatever explanation I get will give me a reason to do anything.” I shook my head. “I don’t even know if that makes any sense. I don’t know if Damien and his family are ever going to be a problem. The only reason I feel this way is because of what happened before. Maybe they’re just people.”

  “Just people. Like Principal Woods.” He shook his head. “I know what you’re worried about, Ana, because I saw what happened to him, and that definitely wasn’t normal. Nothing about that mess was normal.”

  “Yet you’re still not willing to ask too many questions.”

  He was silent for a few seconds, then he smiled at me. “I have no need to ask them. I know someone who can deal with them, and that’s enough for me right now. I’ve seen what it is you’re capable of.” His eyes met mine for a second. “I’m glad I know what you’re capable of.”

  “Sometimes, I’m not all that happy about it.” I brushed a hand through my hair. “I wish I wasn’t capable of it because it means that I always need to be ready, and that…everything about this is complicated. I understand more now than I did before. I understand why Mom would have preferred having a normal life. At times, I wish I could have had a normal life, but I don’t. I never will, and that’s not something you need to be a part of if you don’t want to be.”

  “Why do you think I’d make the decision to walk away? I don’t care how complicated things get. I want to be there for you even if things do get more complicated than I could imagine, and it’s not just because I have feelings for you. Though I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a part of my decision.” He sighed. “I know you might not be willing to believe this, but it is about more than how I feel about you. It’s about the things I do and don’t know. It’s about the stories I’ve heard through the years when people didn’t realize I was listening. It’s about seeing what you were capable of, because that was a reminder of everything. I might not have asked all the questions you expected me to ask, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any kind of understanding.”

  “Alex, it’s easy enough to say the words, but you have no idea how you’re going to feel in the future. No idea how you’d feel if you did know the whole truth. I’ve thought a lot about it in the last day, because I have a feeling that things are going to get complicated again, and I don’t know how that’s going to affect everything.”

  Chapter Three

  Stepping into the sanctuary, I wasn’t surprised to find that I was alone. I had partially hoped I’d walk in to find Nan there, but there was no sign of her, and there was no way of knowing when she might appear. Just being there helped a little, even though I couldn’t stop myself from overthinking my problems. I knew Mom had been planning on talking to Madeline so she could see how things went with her. Considering what happened with Damien, it seemed likely the same thing would have happened to her.

  Sitting at the desk, I pulled a notebook closer and started writing down what I knew. As far as we knew, everyone in the family affected us. Damien and his dad had definitely affected me, and Mom said Madeline did the same to her, which meant we were likely looking at a whole family that was different in some way. I hadn’t met Damien’s sister yet, but I was almost certain it would be the same thing. What was more confusing, was how the discomfort faded with time. It hadn’t with Principal Woods. Whenever I was around him, I could feel that… I didn’t even know what to call it. Evil, maybe. A feeling that told me there was something dark and unusual about him.

  That meant there had been something unusual about Damien. I wasn’t going to pretend he was normal, because even if the feeling of darkness had faded, I knew what I felt when I first saw him. There was something about him that put me ill at ease. I nibbled my bottom lip. Maybe that was something the demon’s minions were meant to be able to do, and Principal Woods just hadn’t bothered. No, that didn’t make sense. There had to be another reason. Another explanation. Being closer to Damien meant I’d been able to feel his energy in a way I hadn’t with Principal Woods, and even if I had back then, I wouldn’t have known what it was I was feeling, so I just knew more by the time I met Damien. That led me to the explanation of him somehow having the ability to stop people from finding out he might not be quite normal.

  I noted that in my writing. Something that could stop me from detecting strangeness. I thought for a moment about James. There had never been any point in the time when I’d wondered if there was something unusual about him. Even though I later found out he was a kitsune, he’d never pinged that…I don’t know…warning alarm. An internal one. It wasn’t that I had felt it and getting to know him had made me feel different. It just hadn’t been there, logically, because I’d never been in any danger. He’d never seen me as a target, which made me think the Easons did. They saw us, and possibly Miss Cane, as something they needed to get rid of. Maybe.

  What I knew better than anything was how little I actually did know. There were people coming into my town who worried me, and I didn’t understand why. Mom didn’t understand why, which was slightly more worrying, but that could have been due to her lack of interest in learning about what it meant to be a witch. That meant Miss Cane was the only one I could ask. But at the moment, I was pretty sure she didn’t know any more than we did. I shook my head.

  Even though there was no way I could be certain of that, I knew the
re was a reason I felt the way I did. A reason I’d been that certain. Maybe we were dealing with something Miss Cane hadn’t seen before either, which was also possible. As unlikely as I thought it was, I did need to keep in mind the fact that the coven had been focused on dealing with the demon for a very long time. It was entirely possible we were dealing with something that had no link to the demon, so there was no reason for Miss Cane to know anything about it.

  Mom opened the door and stepped into the sanctuary. I realized that I was getting better at feeling the energy of the people I knew well, because there was a chance it could have been Miss Cane, so that was a step in the right direction. “Ana, have you got a minute?”

  As I turned to look at Mom, my eyes met hers. I could see the same worry I felt mirrored in them. “Spending time with Madeline affected how you felt about her.”

  Nodding, Mom stepped closer to me. “You had the same experience with Damien.” It wasn’t a question, but I still nodded, staying silent for a moment. “I talked to Becca about this. She knows you felt that same warning when you were around the Easons, and I told her about what had happened when I spent time with Madeline, because I needed to talk to someone about it. I’ve never had that happen before. Becca didn’t know anything that might be of use, but she did say she was going to look into it. There’s just something strange about the way she’s acting at the moment.”

  “You said Madeline was there to take over if anything happened to Miss Cane,” I said, “and it’s entirely possible that’s what she’s worried about right now. If she did feel the same thing we did, then I can understand her being uncertain about what might happen next, as we don’t yet know what they’re capable of. If none of us have any idea what it is we’re dealing with, then we’re coming at this blind. I don’t like that.”

  “Becca said the same thing.” Mom smiled at me. “We have almost as many books as she does. We can look into this, but it is going to take time.”

  “Time we might not have. We have no way of knowing what’s coming next, and that’s what worries me.”

  Sasha was beside me, her tail touching one of my legs, as we made our way through the streets. I had no idea where I was going. All I knew was that I needed to walk in order to think. Whenever that happened, she would join me, probably because she wanted to keep me safe from whatever I might find out in the world. Not that there really had been anything to worry about. With the Easons around, everything was different. Sighing, I raked a hand through my hair, trying to work out my next steps. Getting to know Damien better was a priority. I needed to understand what he was, if he was anything other than a regular human, and I couldn’t help hoping we were just wrong. I didn’t want to have to deal with another problem, especially one related to the demon. What I needed was some time to learn more about being a witch.

  Turning a corner, I almost walked into someone. When my eyes met theirs, I had an automatic reaction, the same way I did when I first saw Principal Eason. There seemed to be one logical explanation as to why that would happen.

  “Jessie?” My eyes met hers for a moment. “Damien’s sister, right? He told me you didn’t like being called anything else.”

  For a few seconds, she stared at me, before smiling and nodding. “How did the two of you get to talking about me?”

  “I mentioned to him that I hadn’t met you yet. He said that was because you weren’t like the rest of the family, although he didn’t explain why, and told me you preferred being called by a name you chose rather than the name your parents gave you.”

  “Whenever someone calls me that name I just…there’s this weird feeling, like I know it’s not my name. They chose it for me. They believed, until I told them otherwise, that I was a Christina, and I’m just grateful they weren’t angry that I wanted to change it. I didn’t feel like I was a Christina. It took me a long time, with Damien’s help, to find the right name. Jessie is as right as I could get.” She shrugged. “Damien did talk to me about you too, Ana.” Her eyes met mine for a moment. “About how you were the one to break the ice and ask if he’d join you for lunch. Thank you for that. Damien…for as long as I can remember, he’s had a hard time making real friends. I’m sure he told you about that. I was worried about him because I could see how it was affecting him, but he didn’t want to say anything to anyone. He didn’t want to show any kind of weakness.”

  “Does your family see wanting to have friends as a weakness?”

  “No, not really. Damien’s just…” She laughed. “He’s Damien. I sometimes wonder how the two of us are siblings, because we are so different, but I guess that happens sometimes. He’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember. When we were younger, I made the decision that I didn’t want to play with my little brother anymore. My friends all told me it was weird, so I listened to them. Then, about a couple of weeks later, I realized what I’d lost by letting someone else’s opinion of what I should be doing affect the decisions I was making. After that, I stopped listening to anyone who made me feel like I was making the wrong choices. I stopped listening to anyone who told me it was weird to be making the choices I was making. I stopped caring about what other people thought because I saw how judgmental the world was, while Damien…he wants to be liked by everyone. From the sounds of things, he especially wants to be liked by you.”

  “But he knows I have a boyfriend.”

  “People don’t stay together forever, and you know that as well as anyone. Damien’s not going to try to split the two of you up. He’s not that kind of person. At the same time, he did make it obvious to me you were the kind of person he could imagine being in a relationship with. I’ve never heard him say something like that before. He’s not the kind of person to let people in.”

  “He doesn’t like getting hurt.”

  “Most people don’t. At the same time, it’s different with Damien. He feels everything more than we do. He wants so much more from life, and I know he’ll do whatever he has to in order to make that happen.” Jessie shrugged. “That doesn’t mean he’d do anything to hurt someone. I know if you said you weren’t interested in him, he wouldn’t push, even if he was disappointed. He’d realize that pushing would hurt everyone involved. Just know that I’m not the same as him. If I think you’re hurting him for no reason, I will make you pay for that.” Her eyes met mine. “I’m very protective of my baby brother, Ana, and I will do anything I have to in order to look after him. I have in the past. That’s part of the reason we had to move.”

  “According to Damien, it was because your dad didn’t like the last school he was at.”

  “Protecting me this time.” She smiled again. “No, Ana, it was because of me. Damien…we’ve moved around a bit because of Dad’s job, and Damien thought he’d finally made a friend who liked him for him. Turns out, the guy was like all the others. The moment he got into trouble, he asked for Damien’s help, and Damien didn’t feel like he could say no. He should have. Instead, he did what he could to help. That led to him almost being expelled, so I decided to deal with that jerk, which got me expelled instead. Coming here was the next step for us to leave that mess in the past.”

  Chapter Four

  “If he’s interested…”

  “There’s nothing for you to worry about.” My eyes met Alex’s. “What Damien wants doesn’t matter to me.” I nibbled my bottom lip. “There’s still something about that family that’s weird, and that’s enough to make me keep my distance. I’m happy to get to know him, but that doesn’t mean anything, Alex. Not the way this does.” Maybe we should have already made things truly official, but we’d never felt the need to before, even if I had called him my boyfriend when I was talking to Jessie. “He knows you’re important to me, and nothing is going to change that. No one is.”

  “You say that, but you’re the one who keeps saying we have no idea what the future may hold.” There was no real emotion in his voice, which was unusual. “It seems like you’re the one who’s trying to prepare me for the very
worst to happen.”

  At first, what I wanted to do was tell him he was wrong, but that wasn’t going to get us anywhere. Instead, I nodded. “I can see why you’d think that.” Sighing, I rested my head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around me. Whenever he did that, I had this sensation of being safe that I’d never felt before. “Maybe, in a way, that is what I’m trying to do. Just not for the reasons you think I am. I know that Clermont isn’t the safest town to live in and you’ve already seen that I’m a part of something more. I guess I am, at least in part, preparing you for the worst that could happen in that situation. At the same time, I’m also preparing myself for it. I don’t know what the future holds, and that scares me more than I can put into words. Sometimes, I want to walk away from you out of fear, because I think it would be better for you. That’s not what I am going to do, but…” I shrugged. “The temptation is there because then you’d be safe. Safer than if you were with someone like me.”

  “No, I wouldn’t. There was a reason Principal Woods chose me, and if something like that happens again, I know I’m going to be in danger.” Alex kissed the top of my head. “I’d rather be in danger with you.”

  “Honestly, I’d rather neither of us be in danger, but I can’t make that choice for us.”

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Go right ahead.” I knew it was going to be about Damien. “Just…” I shook my head. “Emotions are always complicated. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have them.”

  Laughing, he nodded. “I agree with that.” He went silent for a moment. “This is probably the stupidest question I could ask, but if there was a choice between the two of us, who would you pick?”